Mawwiage. And Wuv.

In the days just before my brother got married, we texted each other a series of lines from The Princess Bride. The minister performing the ceremony talks of, "wuv, twue wuv" and "mawwiage." "Mawwiage," he says, "is what bwings us togethew today." I think the words have more depth than just the congregation that joins for the wedding. Marriage is truly a uniting force, because its foundation is love. It isn't necessary to watch the Princess Bride in order to understand true love (although I would argue that it helps), or to understand that love is quite possibly the greatest force in our lives. Love guides us, molds us, motivates us, and in a way, love creates us. I remember reading a story* when I was a teenager, about a successful businesswoman who told her mother that she and her husband were deciding whether to have a baby. "It will change your life" her mother said, thoughtfully. The daughter began to name off the things that she already knew would change, like no more sleeping in on the weekends or last minute vacations. But her mother was thinking about all of the other changes, the ones you can never anticipate. Like "wishing for more years- not to accomplish [your] own dreams, but to watch [your] child accomplish theirs." When I was younger, I think I understood this force in some way or another. But my understanding has deepened as I have started a family with the wonderful man I married. Love makes you realize that life isn't just about you. Life is about supporting the people you love. Making decisions that might strain you, but that will give the most benefit to the ones you love. Like letting a child "help" you, when it really makes more work for you. Like putting aside all the things you really want to get done in order to color, or cuddle, or make a special treat. Like pulling the toy cars back out, after putting them away for the fourth time, beacuse he really wants to drive them around the rug. Like staying home full-time to raise your children, when working outside the home would be a lot less stress. Like hugging your son when he acts like a brat, because you love him and he is your brat. Like staying up to help your spouse study for a test, or write a paper. Like managing the household chores alone, so it looks nice when they come home. Like forgiving and forgetting and praying and begging Heavenly Father to make up the difference. One thing I have learned, is that there will always be a difference. No matter how good our intentions, no matter how much we want to be the perfect parent, and perfect companion, live the perfect life and have it all figured out, it isn't possible to succeed without help from above. Thankfully, it's always there when we ask.

*http://www.fullcircleparenting.com/dotnetnuke/YouWillNeverRegretIt/tabid/100/Default.aspx

"A snake!" The tale of a brave young boy.

Jonathan came running into the living room this afternoon, shouting that he had seen a snake. His eyes were wide, and he was clearly distraught. I carried him out to the dining room and he pointed to the wall. There was a teeny weeny, 2 or 3 centimeter caterpillar clinging to the wall. The now fearless Jonathan climbed up on the chair to get a closer look, as I picked the little fellow up and put him in my hand. "See, Jonathan?" I held my hand out to show him the cute caterpillar, and he promptly fell out of the chair.

Boys need their mamas.

I was finishing up some laundry (I know, right? How often does that happen?!) and heard Jonathan from the other room, calling for me. I came in and sat on the couch next to him, prompting him to sit on my lap. We watched his truck movie together for a little while, when I suddenly remembered something I needed to do. I heard him calling for me again a few minutes later, this time as he sprawled out on the couch with his head on the pillow. I thought he might be looking for sleepy time cuddles. As I came closer, his cries had turned from "mommy" to "tranket!" Yes, he indeed wanted cuddles, but not from me. What he needed was me to bring in his favorite blanket. At least he still needs me for something.

Resolutions.

I started off my new year making, what I thought, was a very good set of resolutions. Exercise every other day, or at least 3 days a week (that way if I stink all week I can make it up at the very end), do some laundry every other day, or at least 3 days a week (same idea), etc. I think I only had 4 total. Then life came back into the picture, and so far I have failed dismally in all regards. Somewhere in the middle of the month, I decided I would subscribe to "monthly resolutions" instead. For January, my goal was to stop "sucking at life" (sorry if the language is offensive to anyone, I just don't know how else to put it. Stinking does not do the condition justice). For any who may be unfamiliar with this condition, it is multifaceted. Sucking at life may include, but is not limited to: neglecting to plan for dinner before 5:30, forgetting to take the garbage out until you hear the garbage truck, getting at least 3 billing statements from the doctor's office before making your payment (especially if it is less than $10), leaving clothes in your washing machine until they have to be re-washed, repeatedly letting your cell phone battery die, etc. etc.
I couldn't believe how well I was doing with all of this. I even paid my Time Warner Cable bill, even though they are *impossible* to pay online without having all sorts of information, like the middle name of the first son of your neighbor's great grandmother. Danielle was getting the hang of life. Until this morning, when I had to chase the recyclables truck halfway up the road while my eldest was making a spinach and sun-dried tomato salad on the kitchen floor. Oh well, there's always February.