Mawwiage. And Wuv.

In the days just before my brother got married, we texted each other a series of lines from The Princess Bride. The minister performing the ceremony talks of, "wuv, twue wuv" and "mawwiage." "Mawwiage," he says, "is what bwings us togethew today." I think the words have more depth than just the congregation that joins for the wedding. Marriage is truly a uniting force, because its foundation is love. It isn't necessary to watch the Princess Bride in order to understand true love (although I would argue that it helps), or to understand that love is quite possibly the greatest force in our lives. Love guides us, molds us, motivates us, and in a way, love creates us. I remember reading a story* when I was a teenager, about a successful businesswoman who told her mother that she and her husband were deciding whether to have a baby. "It will change your life" her mother said, thoughtfully. The daughter began to name off the things that she already knew would change, like no more sleeping in on the weekends or last minute vacations. But her mother was thinking about all of the other changes, the ones you can never anticipate. Like "wishing for more years- not to accomplish [your] own dreams, but to watch [your] child accomplish theirs." When I was younger, I think I understood this force in some way or another. But my understanding has deepened as I have started a family with the wonderful man I married. Love makes you realize that life isn't just about you. Life is about supporting the people you love. Making decisions that might strain you, but that will give the most benefit to the ones you love. Like letting a child "help" you, when it really makes more work for you. Like putting aside all the things you really want to get done in order to color, or cuddle, or make a special treat. Like pulling the toy cars back out, after putting them away for the fourth time, beacuse he really wants to drive them around the rug. Like staying home full-time to raise your children, when working outside the home would be a lot less stress. Like hugging your son when he acts like a brat, because you love him and he is your brat. Like staying up to help your spouse study for a test, or write a paper. Like managing the household chores alone, so it looks nice when they come home. Like forgiving and forgetting and praying and begging Heavenly Father to make up the difference. One thing I have learned, is that there will always be a difference. No matter how good our intentions, no matter how much we want to be the perfect parent, and perfect companion, live the perfect life and have it all figured out, it isn't possible to succeed without help from above. Thankfully, it's always there when we ask.

*http://www.fullcircleparenting.com/dotnetnuke/YouWillNeverRegretIt/tabid/100/Default.aspx