Adventures at Wegman's

There are a lot of things that change when you have kids. You are no longer allowed to dine out or sleep in, vacations require four times as much planning, and your wardrobe is limited to articles that can withstand all matter of little people fluids. You have to get used to a lot of staring and/ or funny looks in public as you attempt (and fail) to contain your small young creatures. There are times that you find yourself not knowing whether to yell at them or kiss their little faces, and you may have created something of a combination between the two. There is a piece of you that is overjoyed when someone else's kid shrieks louder than yours, and on those days that you feel all put together, there is nothing that can bring you down. Until you realize, of course, that you spent have the day wandering around with spaghetti in your hair. But even that doesn't really bother you anymore. Yes, it is a strange new world when you have kids.
One of my greatest joys has been in discovering that Wegman's is just as special to me as it ever was. No great things come without work, and Wegmansing surely includes its fair share of work. For starters, we have to get one of those crazy carts that has a little car built into the front. That way there is room for Ethan's carseat, Jonathan, AND groceries! It's a beautiful thing. Now, there is an art to just getting Jonathan strapped into the thing. If you tie the belt to loose, he wiggles right out, but if you tie it too tight he takes it as a challenge. This is all well and good, as it keeps him occupied, until you pause a second in the vegetable aisle and see your little monkey in a dead run for the candy.
There is a special art to just driving the stinkin' cart, as it's super long and weighted very strangely. There is, in addition, a special art to apologizing to people when you accidentally smack into their carts, or when you purposefully smack into their carts but want them to think it's an accident. There is an art to getting through the store with your sanity, which usually involves opening packages of snacks and drinks, which makes it interesting at the checkout. "Um, yeah, could you just scan the wrapper? Thanks." "Careful with that one, the end is only loosely twisted shut.""No, actually, I don't need a new cider-- that one's fine. I only need half a jug anyway." Which reminds me of the last challenge-- choosing just the right cashier. Preferably a grandma. They understand everything.
Well, I guess my blog-time allotment is being drawn to an abrupt close-- Monkey got himself out of the tub and drew a lipstick maze on his belly. Yes, yes, he is very funny. Here comes one of those combinations.