How to change a monkey diaper

Step 1: Lay the monkey down on his back.
Step 2: Remove his pants.
Step 3: Lay the monkey back down on his back.
Step 4: Unfasten the diaper.
Step 5: Lay the monkey back down on his back.
Step 6: Hold the little monkey's legs up while he twists and wiggles and rolls.
Step 7: Lay the monkey back down on his back, pin his little arms down with your legs, tilt your head back to protect your face from little kicking feet, hold the monkey's legs again, begin to wipe the bottom.
Step 8: try desperately to convince yourself: it is not worth it to give him a sit-still treat. It is a bad idea to reward him with a treat. He really does not deserve a treat. Refrain, refrain...
Step 9: Lay the monkey back down on his back.
Step 10: Finish quickly.
Step 11: Admire the sloppy diaper.
Step 12: Watch the monkey wiggle out of the diaper.
Step 13: Lay the monkey back down on his back...